The Number One Reason Why Your Kid (Any Age) Hates Math

October 27, 2019by Heather

Natalia’s Math Struggles

 Natalia hated math, and the more her mom pushed her and tried to help her with her lessons, the less empowered she became until one day, she “hit the wall,” alarming her mother with the abject defeat she was exhibiting.

This defeat colored her entire world. Her confidence was shot not only in math but, as a result, in everything else. Natalia had no try left. She was absolutely convinced she couldn’t do it. She was convinced she couldn’t do anything, that she was just plain dumb.

Math had been a struggle for Heather Linchenko already with Natalia’s three older siblings. It was the push, the grind, the fighting, consequences, ultimatums and the oft-quoted mantra, “You’ve just got to learn to do hard things.” “Math is hard. Nobody likes math, but you’ve GOT to do it.”


The Old Approach To Teach Math Completely Fails

 She tried the same tired approaches with Natalia, but nothing worked.

My sister, Heather, confided in me one day that she feared Natalia was just…slow. She just couldn’t get it.

One day Natalia absolutely gave up, Heather was shocked into realizing the obvious: what she was doing just wasn’t working. She had been able to push her older children through their math lessons, but nothing was working with Natalia. Worse, it was destroying her confidence and fracturing their relationship.

In spite of all the conflict, Heather and Natalia still loved each other. But, they didn’t like each other very much. They didn’t love to be in each other’s presence anymore. Their relationship was very strained to say the least.

A quote Heather had heard many years earlier finally hit her consciousness with new force: “Learner inability is usually nothing more than teacher inflexibility.” Motivated to heal the damage she had unwittingly done to her daughter (in spite of plenty of love and very good intentions), she said to Natalia, “No more math until I figure this out!”


The Student Becomes the Teacher

 Suddenly, Natalia became a valuable resource on this journey. Heather began to ask her questions: “Why do you hate math so? What is hard for you? Why? Natalia became the teacher, the adviser on this journey.

Heather learned that, although Natalia had memorized her times tables some time ago, they hadn’t “stuck,” and stumbling over them while trying to do her math lessons made everything SO hard, so laborious, so overwhelming.

A Better and Faster Solution Emerges

 Heather set out to create a system for teaching Natalia her times tables in a different way. Memorization hadn’t worked. It was boring, tedious, ineffective. With a new paradigm, ideas started coming to Heather. She started questioning, “What would I like? What would be fun and interesting for me? What would be hard for me?”

A system took shape that was based on associations, not memorization. Heather saw Natalia engage from the first moment. Natalia felt like a winner, and her confidence exploded.

Surprisingly, her math facts were mastered in a fraction of the time it had taken to “learn” them before. But this time, her math facts were solid. She owned them.


Confidence and Competence Pave the Way to Success

With her math facts in tow, it was time to tackle Saxon Math again. Heather assumed she would have to stay ahead of Natalia, a step at a time, as she progressed through her math lessons.

As Natalia sat down to resume her Saxon math lessons, her knee-jerk reaction was negative. But as she began it was as if the sun came out from behind a cloud; her back straightened, her chest lifted, her face brightened, and she took off; suddenly she saw she could do it!


Mom Gets Her Time Back

 The biggest surprise to Heather? Her need to help Natalia was over. Natalia forged ahead independently, confident she could figure it out and she DID. Heather’s work was done.

After that, math became Natalia’s favorite subject even in high school (with no more help from Mom). What a transformation!

Slow, she was not! She had just been squelched by the typical way times tables and division facts were normally taught.

We have since discovered that Natalia represented that 80% of kids that hate math. The solution to her problem became a solution to theirs.


Trying the Process in a Private School

 A few years later Heather served as a teacher’s aide in a private school. She saw that familiar dejected look, slumped shoulders, eyes down; the kids were whining and moaning just like her kids used to when it was time for math. Though the kids were only ages 6 to 8, she couldn’t stop herself from suggesting her new approach to the teacher (after a few weeks of biting her tongue).It had worked so well for Natalia and then her little brother. Why not for these kids? She felt it was easy enough for the six year old kids should be able to do it. At least it was certainly worth a try.

So, this good teacher agreed, and asked Heather to try the program with any children that wanted to do it. Before long, every last child in the class joined in–even the defiant, the shy, the unconfident, the goof offs. Kids lined up, and Math became their favorite subject.

Startlingly, every last child engaged, and every last child — 100 percent — absolutely nailed their multiplication facts.

It became a sensation. Parents saw a change in their kids’ confidence levels, even beyond math. Heather found herself surrounded by parents at school, wanting to know what she was doing. Their kids were even bringing their speed deck on vacation, and studying on their own after they were supposed to be asleep.

Quite unusual for an entire class to be so enthusiastic about anything to do with math!


The Power of Flexible Brain Training

 It was in this class that Heather learned that a key outcome of the process (in the absence of rote memorization) was the development of a flexible brain, such that the kids immediately “got” their division facts. In one or two “light-bulb” moments, they realized they already knew them. Division was no new mountain to climb.

It was exciting to learn, also, that the six year old kids learned their math facts as quickly as the older ones. The visiting eighth grade reading helpers, on seeing these little tykes whip off their times tables facts would say, “How old ARE you? I can’t even do that!

Addition and subtraction were a non event for the first graders after that. Manipulatives were not needed. The kids could figure it in their newly trained brains, and they felt brilliant! They had discovered they were brilliant through the process.


Multiplication Facts Mastery Makes All Math Easier

 Once the kids had their math facts down, they had a completely different attitude and confidence to do their math lessons.

Multiplication is everywhere in math, so learning, or rather nailing

multiplication math facts is invaluable in paving the way to success.